How To Get Heal After a Major Breakup.
How To Get Heal After a Major Breakup. Don’t take your love away from me. Don’t you leave my heart in misery. If you go then I’ll be blue. Cause breaking up is hard to do. – Neil Sedaka, “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”
The very nature of giving your heart, mind and soul to somebody else is un-replicable. It only makes sense that, when a breakup occurs, it can be incredibly damaging to that very heart, mind and soul.
Vikki Stark, MSW – a family therapist and author – states: “Initially, you feel like you’re never going to get through because you’re just so turned upside down. But the chaos won’t last forever.”
While these tips are not specifically the healing process, they may serve as general guidance during a very confusing and hurtful time.
Here are 5 ways to heal after a major breakup:
1. Lean On Friends
As Bill Withers once sang: “Lean on me when you’re not strong I’ll be your friend. I’ll help you carry on. For it won’t be long ‘til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.” (Sorry, I’m in a lyrical mood today!)
Aside from immediate family, perhaps nobody understands the intricacies of you better than close friends. Apart from being your emotional support, friends will also help to mitigate some of the impulsive behavior demonstrated after a breakup: “drunk texting,” social media wallowing, etc.
2. Consider Professional Support
Notice that we didn’t “mandate” the counsel of professionals. That’s because each person deals with grief in a different way.
That said, professional support can, at times, provide unique insight into the situation that friends and family cannot. Professionals (e.g. family therapists, psychologists, relationship counselors) will allow you to divulge some pent-up emotions, but they’ll also be much more proactive in seeking out constructive solutions to your problem.
3. Begin Dating Again
Even if you’re not trying to enter another serious relationship, dating can still be beneficial. First off, dating expands your social circle. Many people – men and women, included – will often meet up with no other intention than to discover a new friend.
Of course, if you’re ready to “get back in the saddle,” that is perfectly okay as well. You’re intelligent enough to understand that taking things slow at this stage is often the best course of action.
So have fun and do what feels right!
4. Enjoy Being Single!
Once the dark cloud that is a breakup has lifted, try reflecting on the freedoms allowed by not being attached, to which there are many. No more “checking in” with a significant other; no more “getting permission” before doing something that you want; no more fruitless worrying over how decisions that you’ve made will be perceived.
5. Allow Grieving Time
Nothing else on this list will matter much if little to no time is allotted for the grieving process. In many ways, a breakup is similar (albeit, often less serious) than death of a close relative. In part, death of a loved one is hard because of the realization that expressing your immense love to that person is no longer possible. It is a forced suppression of love.
A breakup is similar in this respect. The accumulated feelings of love, admiration, curiousness – and a myriad of other feelings – can’t be expressed the same way. To this end, the soul must grieve to account for such a loss.